Hurt Pride

This hurt pride could be liberating in the end. I won't go into details but I don't like the feeling that I have nothing to show for. My husband is my exact opposite. I am full of pride and he is just so not.

Let me tell you something though. This pride of mine I'm talking about is not the kind of pride which is just arrogant and feeling high and mighty. NO. My pride is what keeps me sane. It's all I have. And I'd like to maintain it that way. Until everything is smooth and going great, I'd keep all my concerns to myself. I'm not one to ask anyone for a direct advise. I do things by myself and that keeps me sane. I ask help in my own way but I don't really open up even to my parents every little concern I have. I am like this since I was a child. And I will die like this. My pride keeps me sane.

I feel bad my pride is ruined but I cannot blame anyone for it. Like what I have said, this could be liberating in the end. And anyway, it's not like I am going to be this way forever. It's just that this is distracting me now. I hope there will be no follow-up questions. It might kill me. Ha! My heart is a bit heavy as I type this. Figuratively and literally. I hope this soon goes away.

So anyway, what did this in-the-mean-time-stay-at-home-womyn did today? Apart from the usual cooking for lunch, freshening up and checking my mails and Facebook, I finished a writing assignment. That's about it half of the day. It's a holiday today so my trip to the bank was postponed. There would be no calls from my applications today as office will resume by Monday.

So help me, God. I need a job, pronto! Save my finances, save my sanity.

Thank You.